Sunday, November 7, 2010
A Nifty Website For Christmas
I found a cute website today. Check out http://www.northpole.com/ You can have your kids send their Christmas list to Santa and he'll respond! There are fun things for your kids to do. You can do personalized children stories. I typed it some information and it was fun reading a story with my daugther's name and favorites in there. Kids can check whether they are on the naughty or nice list after they answer some questions. It seems like a realy fun website. I think my kids will love checking it out.
Holidays and Favoritism
Fair warning to those who read, this MIGHT possibly come off as a complaint, though it is not intended to be such.
My two lovable, adorable kids love the holidays. They love getting together and enjoying family and friends. When Christmas comes, we typically have such a hectic schedule. We are running from one place to the next it seems. But it is Christmas and we do enjoy it ;) However, there is one thing that I do despise about the holidays- that is favoritism.
Maybe it is just how I see it, and I am really NOT trying to be bratty about this subject. A set of grandparents seems to play favorites when it comes to holidays. Birthday and Christmas gifts seem to be such a difference between my kids and someone else's kid. I am not a materialistic person, but I just don't like favoritism. I will never forget one year for that other child's birthday she wanted this certain designer booster since she was still too small to sit without a car seat/booster. It was over $200 and was happily purchased for this other child by this said set of grandparents. My child received an $8 book from WalMart for her birthday.
I tried to just brush this off and not think much of it. However, there is a difference when your children start to realize that there is such distinct favoritism when it comes to presents. The above mentioned example is clearly not the only example, as you can tell ;). I am not unappreciative or have unappreciative children when it comes to gifts. My kids are extremely thankful for everything.
Last year I was a bit disappointed when the other child received a designer doll clothing set from said grandparents and my kids literally got dollar store toys that ended up in the trash the same day the first time they were playing with them. Obviously, I wasn't the only one disappointed. You should have seen my daughter's expression. There was clear disappointment on her face. Sure every child has disappointing/ envious moments in their life, but I am sure my daughter was thinking, "Wow, how it the world does she always get these awesome gifts and we always receive something dramatically less?" No, this other child is not from a family living at poverty and said grandparents don't feel that they are helping someone in need. This is clearly the way it goes every birthday or Christmas. What if I added this fact: It isn't even their grandchild. It is their neice. And the worst part is, it isn't just the mentioned grandparents who do it. The great-grandparents do it, too.
I understand purchasing things specifically with a certain person in mind. I really do. I understand the joy of seeing someone open a gift and having an awesome reaction. However, I don't think it is right that everyone seems to always go all out for this person every time. With my children getting older and starting to notice the truth and reality of the situation, I know there have been hurt feelings felt. It isn't just gifts purchased. It is everything. When said child is over, my child is not included in plans. For instance, all the girls in the family were going somewhere and the little girl was included (she is only two years older than my daughter and it wasn't some exotic place that they were going). The ONLY girl not included was my daughter. She was left behind to stay with the guys. Again, the only girl I must add.
Chalk it all up to how I was raised. I was raised to always include everyone. It isn't kind to exclude people. When you are part of a large extended family, there were always calls or mention to include everyone. When I was at my Grandma's house for the day hanging out, two cousins started to plan a spend the night at one of the cousin's house. Of course I was included. That is just how it was. Yes, people did good things for holidays but it clearly wasn't like this. Not even close.
Is it so wrong of me not to want to be around this Christmas when that child is around? I just don't like to be filled with bitter thoughts about the favoritism going on. I don't like seeing the favoritism going on. I would much rather not know what they got her. I don't like seeing the disappointment on my little girl's face. I am torn on what to do. All this time I have hinted about it with said grandma, but nothing has come of it. If you were in my situation, what would you do? Would you just tough it out and attend, after all it is the holidays and I just need to accept it? Would you purposely not attend? Give me your honest opinion about how you would handle this.
My two lovable, adorable kids love the holidays. They love getting together and enjoying family and friends. When Christmas comes, we typically have such a hectic schedule. We are running from one place to the next it seems. But it is Christmas and we do enjoy it ;) However, there is one thing that I do despise about the holidays- that is favoritism.
Maybe it is just how I see it, and I am really NOT trying to be bratty about this subject. A set of grandparents seems to play favorites when it comes to holidays. Birthday and Christmas gifts seem to be such a difference between my kids and someone else's kid. I am not a materialistic person, but I just don't like favoritism. I will never forget one year for that other child's birthday she wanted this certain designer booster since she was still too small to sit without a car seat/booster. It was over $200 and was happily purchased for this other child by this said set of grandparents. My child received an $8 book from WalMart for her birthday.
I tried to just brush this off and not think much of it. However, there is a difference when your children start to realize that there is such distinct favoritism when it comes to presents. The above mentioned example is clearly not the only example, as you can tell ;). I am not unappreciative or have unappreciative children when it comes to gifts. My kids are extremely thankful for everything.
Last year I was a bit disappointed when the other child received a designer doll clothing set from said grandparents and my kids literally got dollar store toys that ended up in the trash the same day the first time they were playing with them. Obviously, I wasn't the only one disappointed. You should have seen my daughter's expression. There was clear disappointment on her face. Sure every child has disappointing/ envious moments in their life, but I am sure my daughter was thinking, "Wow, how it the world does she always get these awesome gifts and we always receive something dramatically less?" No, this other child is not from a family living at poverty and said grandparents don't feel that they are helping someone in need. This is clearly the way it goes every birthday or Christmas. What if I added this fact: It isn't even their grandchild. It is their neice. And the worst part is, it isn't just the mentioned grandparents who do it. The great-grandparents do it, too.
I understand purchasing things specifically with a certain person in mind. I really do. I understand the joy of seeing someone open a gift and having an awesome reaction. However, I don't think it is right that everyone seems to always go all out for this person every time. With my children getting older and starting to notice the truth and reality of the situation, I know there have been hurt feelings felt. It isn't just gifts purchased. It is everything. When said child is over, my child is not included in plans. For instance, all the girls in the family were going somewhere and the little girl was included (she is only two years older than my daughter and it wasn't some exotic place that they were going). The ONLY girl not included was my daughter. She was left behind to stay with the guys. Again, the only girl I must add.
Chalk it all up to how I was raised. I was raised to always include everyone. It isn't kind to exclude people. When you are part of a large extended family, there were always calls or mention to include everyone. When I was at my Grandma's house for the day hanging out, two cousins started to plan a spend the night at one of the cousin's house. Of course I was included. That is just how it was. Yes, people did good things for holidays but it clearly wasn't like this. Not even close.
Is it so wrong of me not to want to be around this Christmas when that child is around? I just don't like to be filled with bitter thoughts about the favoritism going on. I don't like seeing the favoritism going on. I would much rather not know what they got her. I don't like seeing the disappointment on my little girl's face. I am torn on what to do. All this time I have hinted about it with said grandma, but nothing has come of it. If you were in my situation, what would you do? Would you just tough it out and attend, after all it is the holidays and I just need to accept it? Would you purposely not attend? Give me your honest opinion about how you would handle this.
Solution
So plans have been all worked out for my cousin visiting for Christmas. She will, in fact, be staying with us for some of the time she is in town. She will be at our house for 4 days. Her and her family will be staying for one day less than two weeks. She requested that she stay at our house from the 23rd of December til the 27th, but I asked that she not stay at our house for that time.
I explained to her the truth of the matter. I am concerned that Santa will bring her children much better and bigger things. No, I am not materialistic and don't care about her kids getting better things. I am concerned with my kids comparing things that her kids get compared to mine and feeling like they received less. From experience in the past, this awesome cousin of mine has spent a great deal on Christmas for her kids and getting big items for her kids while coming in town to visit. Of course that is fun for Christmas.
I love my cousin and understand that we are at much different income. I did converse my limited means this year. I told her how Santa is bring yard sale and thrift store finds for my babies (well, with the exception of the Pillow Pet and Toy Story 3 movie which my kids have specifically stated they want).
Do I feel that my kids are getting less than anyone else? Truthfully, I don't. If a child is so concerned about an item being in the box and new, that is a significant price to pay just for cardboard and plastic. My kids have never seen a difference in items being new or gently used. I, or I mean Santa ;) , knows the difference. The price! If I can purchase a Barbie horse for $1.00 which is gently used compared to a brand new, in the box Barbie horse for $20.00, that is a huge difference.
So this year the following will be given to my kids by Santa:
Bug- A Barbie VW Van (bought for $5 at a thrift store), Barbie Babies (purchased on Ebay for $15 since it was soooo hard to locate any at yard sales or thrift stores, and this was specifically requested), Baby in My Pocket set (bought new on clearance at TJ Maxx for $7 ), 2 Kelly dolls with little horses ($10 on clearance at TJ Maxx), and a Pillow Pet (I will buy for $20 since she so desperately wants this, the beloved Magical Unicorn ).
Stocking: Barbie Horse ($1 yard sale), Tinker Bell VMotion game ($5 at Target on clearance) and candy (whatever odd candy I purchase)
JackJack- 2 buckets of Legos ($2 gotta love yard sales), small shoe box of toy cars ($2 at yard sales), McDonalds playset ($8 picked up at Ross during the year), and I plan on purchasing Toy Story 3 (I will buy for $20 at WalMart since he has specifically requested this movie from Santa). My friend said she would let us have her sons outgrown Hot Wheels Truck for JackJack since it just sits in their garage unplayed with, but I don't know how certain that is. It was purchased on Black friday at WalMart last year and was already too small for her son as he was already 4 1/2 or so. (If we end up getting this, free. If not, oh well.)
Stocking: Cowboy, Indian with Soldiers set, complete with tanks, huts and everything ($1 yard sale), Carz VMotion game ($5 at Target on clearance) and candy (whatever odd candy I purchase)
Anyways, I informed my cousin that I wished her family to not be there Christmas morning, and she was completely understanding. So the plan is for them to stay with us the 28th-31st. I hope I didn't offend her by this request. I just wanted to make sure my kids didn't feel like they were lacking because of the difference in gifts that Santa delivers them compared to her kids.
Yes, kids do need to deal with life and learn lessons in disappointment but trust me, when it comes to holidays, they already deal with that (but more on that subject for the next post). If you were in this same position, what would you have done? Would you not have said anything and just gone with the flow, letting family come and visit, dealing with any hurt feelings or shock from what Santa brought them?
I explained to her the truth of the matter. I am concerned that Santa will bring her children much better and bigger things. No, I am not materialistic and don't care about her kids getting better things. I am concerned with my kids comparing things that her kids get compared to mine and feeling like they received less. From experience in the past, this awesome cousin of mine has spent a great deal on Christmas for her kids and getting big items for her kids while coming in town to visit. Of course that is fun for Christmas.
I love my cousin and understand that we are at much different income. I did converse my limited means this year. I told her how Santa is bring yard sale and thrift store finds for my babies (well, with the exception of the Pillow Pet and Toy Story 3 movie which my kids have specifically stated they want).
Do I feel that my kids are getting less than anyone else? Truthfully, I don't. If a child is so concerned about an item being in the box and new, that is a significant price to pay just for cardboard and plastic. My kids have never seen a difference in items being new or gently used. I, or I mean Santa ;) , knows the difference. The price! If I can purchase a Barbie horse for $1.00 which is gently used compared to a brand new, in the box Barbie horse for $20.00, that is a huge difference.
So this year the following will be given to my kids by Santa:
Bug- A Barbie VW Van (bought for $5 at a thrift store), Barbie Babies (purchased on Ebay for $15 since it was soooo hard to locate any at yard sales or thrift stores, and this was specifically requested), Baby in My Pocket set (bought new on clearance at TJ Maxx for $7 ), 2 Kelly dolls with little horses ($10 on clearance at TJ Maxx), and a Pillow Pet (I will buy for $20 since she so desperately wants this, the beloved Magical Unicorn ).
Stocking: Barbie Horse ($1 yard sale), Tinker Bell VMotion game ($5 at Target on clearance) and candy (whatever odd candy I purchase)
JackJack- 2 buckets of Legos ($2 gotta love yard sales), small shoe box of toy cars ($2 at yard sales), McDonalds playset ($8 picked up at Ross during the year), and I plan on purchasing Toy Story 3 (I will buy for $20 at WalMart since he has specifically requested this movie from Santa). My friend said she would let us have her sons outgrown Hot Wheels Truck for JackJack since it just sits in their garage unplayed with, but I don't know how certain that is. It was purchased on Black friday at WalMart last year and was already too small for her son as he was already 4 1/2 or so. (If we end up getting this, free. If not, oh well.)
Stocking: Cowboy, Indian with Soldiers set, complete with tanks, huts and everything ($1 yard sale), Carz VMotion game ($5 at Target on clearance) and candy (whatever odd candy I purchase)
Anyways, I informed my cousin that I wished her family to not be there Christmas morning, and she was completely understanding. So the plan is for them to stay with us the 28th-31st. I hope I didn't offend her by this request. I just wanted to make sure my kids didn't feel like they were lacking because of the difference in gifts that Santa delivers them compared to her kids.
Yes, kids do need to deal with life and learn lessons in disappointment but trust me, when it comes to holidays, they already deal with that (but more on that subject for the next post). If you were in this same position, what would you have done? Would you not have said anything and just gone with the flow, letting family come and visit, dealing with any hurt feelings or shock from what Santa brought them?
Thursday, November 4, 2010
She's Done It Again :)
Michelle has edited and posted some more pictures from our photo session. I absolutely love her work. http://photobymichelle.blogspot.com/ I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE <3 the picture of the three of us by that old wheel. It is so great. What a great effect that picture has to it. She did such a great job as you can tell. What do you girls think?
Doing Buisness with Family
Money. Family. Business. Do they merge? I received a phone call last night from a family member wanting to borrow money from me. First, I don't have money to loan. Second, would I ever see it back? Third, isn't that the worst thing to do?
Here is the scoop: I love my family to death. I would do anything for them. But where do you draw the line? I would happily loan money to certain members of my family if I had the means to do so. However, what do you do when you don't approve of the way someone else in your family spends their money and then turns around asking to borrow money from you? The above referenced family member claims that they are broke all the time, but when Christmas rolls around, Santa sure had the means to provide an abundant holiday for their family! Someone can easily point out that their Santa could have put it all on credit and such.
This family member refuses to clothe their children in hand-me-downs, thrift store finds, used anything. I have happily tried passing on my kids' clothes to them with no acceptance. I am extremely frugal and watch every penny. This family member claims that they are always broke and struggling, yet their are two incomes in their house, live in an apartment with limited utilities, and just somehow seem to have all this money to spend. They purchase every movie new when it comes out, the day it comes out from what I understand. They have every game imagined for their video game consoles/systems.
Yes, I know everyone has different priorities. I know no one is alike. I was listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio one night and he specifically said how family and business clearly don't mix. He said that you shouldn't loan money to family and that so much drama can be caused due to this. A few callers called in telling stories about how family members owed them all this money and they never saw it back. Dave just said you should chalk it up to experience and let it go.
It got me to thinking. If someone you held dear to you asked to borrow money and you had the means to loan it to them, would you? If so, would it bother you if you knew they happily spent money stupidly? If you wouldn't loan them money, why? Just curious as to everyone else's opinions.
Here is the scoop: I love my family to death. I would do anything for them. But where do you draw the line? I would happily loan money to certain members of my family if I had the means to do so. However, what do you do when you don't approve of the way someone else in your family spends their money and then turns around asking to borrow money from you? The above referenced family member claims that they are broke all the time, but when Christmas rolls around, Santa sure had the means to provide an abundant holiday for their family! Someone can easily point out that their Santa could have put it all on credit and such.
This family member refuses to clothe their children in hand-me-downs, thrift store finds, used anything. I have happily tried passing on my kids' clothes to them with no acceptance. I am extremely frugal and watch every penny. This family member claims that they are always broke and struggling, yet their are two incomes in their house, live in an apartment with limited utilities, and just somehow seem to have all this money to spend. They purchase every movie new when it comes out, the day it comes out from what I understand. They have every game imagined for their video game consoles/systems.
Yes, I know everyone has different priorities. I know no one is alike. I was listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio one night and he specifically said how family and business clearly don't mix. He said that you shouldn't loan money to family and that so much drama can be caused due to this. A few callers called in telling stories about how family members owed them all this money and they never saw it back. Dave just said you should chalk it up to experience and let it go.
It got me to thinking. If someone you held dear to you asked to borrow money and you had the means to loan it to them, would you? If so, would it bother you if you knew they happily spent money stupidly? If you wouldn't loan them money, why? Just curious as to everyone else's opinions.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Do you frequent thrift stores? As you all know, I do. I find great deals for me and my family. I just love the thrill of the find. I know some people have just recently joined the frugality thing. I, however, have always had the frugality gene. ;) When I was a teen, I worked at a thrift store. I used to find the coolest clothes ever! People would pry and ask where I got things because they wanted something I had on. Now when you are a teen and trying to fit in, most would have said they had purchased the items at some big store so as to not be embarrassed at the place they purchased them. I didn't. I told the truth. Seeing the difference in facially expressions about my nifty clothes, I knew they thought less of thrift stores. I obviously didn't care. I was happy with the great buys I found. The thrift store would get sooooo much stuff coming in on a constant and consistent basis. I loved that I got a 25% employee discount on top of the incredible tag price. I remember finding the COOLEST pants I had ever laid my eyes on, and they were only $5! Scoring them for only $3.75 was incredible. I would constantly come home with new to me clothes. At that price, you couldn't beat them.
I'll never forget hearing a classmate had begged her parents to buy some designer pants at some specialty store, and they willingly spent over $80.00 on them! I immediately thought of how many pairs of pants and items I could buy with that amount of money at "my" thrift store. I just couldn't believe that they happily spent that and she was bragging over her pants, which truth be told, didn't seem so different than everyone's pants. They were blue jeans. Nothing too special, other than some fancy "designer name brand". Of course all sorts of girls wanted the designer pants after that and hoped they could talk their parents into buying them. I, however, didn't even think twice about it.
I was happy and content with my thrift store clothes. A lot of the clothes coming in looked like they were in awesome condition. On top of my satisfaction for the clothes I had, I didn't have the luxury of my parents offering to give me money to pay for clothes. They established a specified amount for allowance and that was it. The money I got from my job was my spending and food money. Right before school started, my parents set up a certain amount of money for school shopping. This money was to cover our clothes, supplies and the like. I could have gone to the mall and gotten designer name brand items, but I thought carefully about my purchases. At that time, a lot of teens wouldn't be caught dead in a thrift store. Shopping for USED clothes?!? Oh my goodness, how could someone even possibly think of doing such a thing ;) *grin.
Now that so many people in our nation are pinching their pennies and trying to stretch a buck, things have significantly changed. The thrift store I used to work at doesn't get as many donations I think. The conditions of clothes are much less than they were. People are simply making the things they have on hand work for them. They are using things for longer than they did in the past. Spending money on unneccessary items isn't as easy as it was before for some.
I still enjoy thrift storing. It is fun. Some stores tend to be better than others. What is your favorite thrift store and why?
I'll never forget hearing a classmate had begged her parents to buy some designer pants at some specialty store, and they willingly spent over $80.00 on them! I immediately thought of how many pairs of pants and items I could buy with that amount of money at "my" thrift store. I just couldn't believe that they happily spent that and she was bragging over her pants, which truth be told, didn't seem so different than everyone's pants. They were blue jeans. Nothing too special, other than some fancy "designer name brand". Of course all sorts of girls wanted the designer pants after that and hoped they could talk their parents into buying them. I, however, didn't even think twice about it.
I was happy and content with my thrift store clothes. A lot of the clothes coming in looked like they were in awesome condition. On top of my satisfaction for the clothes I had, I didn't have the luxury of my parents offering to give me money to pay for clothes. They established a specified amount for allowance and that was it. The money I got from my job was my spending and food money. Right before school started, my parents set up a certain amount of money for school shopping. This money was to cover our clothes, supplies and the like. I could have gone to the mall and gotten designer name brand items, but I thought carefully about my purchases. At that time, a lot of teens wouldn't be caught dead in a thrift store. Shopping for USED clothes?!? Oh my goodness, how could someone even possibly think of doing such a thing ;) *grin.
Now that so many people in our nation are pinching their pennies and trying to stretch a buck, things have significantly changed. The thrift store I used to work at doesn't get as many donations I think. The conditions of clothes are much less than they were. People are simply making the things they have on hand work for them. They are using things for longer than they did in the past. Spending money on unneccessary items isn't as easy as it was before for some.
I still enjoy thrift storing. It is fun. Some stores tend to be better than others. What is your favorite thrift store and why?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Shopping
I was watching Confessions of a Shopaholic the other day, and I just love that movie. Don't ask me why, but it is such a funny movie. But it got me to thinking about our shopping habits. I clearly am not a shopaholic. Yes, I love to grab a good buy at a steal, but I don't use a credit card to do so, and I know I have boundaries. Intead of just spending everything I have and having a roommate who rips up my rent check... not just once but twice, yes (2) times, I spend wisely and know where my money is going. Some people have no remorse for living beyond their means, and that is their personal choice.
How in the world she justified spending so much on a green scarf, I have no clue. It was funny at the scene where the manican is talking to her and tells her to use some old jeans, that is what her mother would do. I am so that mother. I can't justify spending so much on stuff that I don't see as a smart and productive buy. Maybe that is the reason why I have been so wishy washy about the item my daughter wants so badly for Christmas. I just think it isn't a wise buy. I think that she could get something cooler for a better buy, but I need to realize that this is what she REALLY wants. Now if it was my last $20 would I buy it... I doubt it. But if this is what she really wants from Santa, I need to let her have that magic.
"When I was a little girl, there were real prices and mom prices. Real prices got you *shiny, sparkly things* that lasted three weeks, and mom prices got you brown things...... that lasted *forever* ." I was thinking about this very quote from the movie, and it reminded me of myself. No, I am not going to buy her any little thing on the whim of her asking for it. I am, however, going to participate in this one piece of magic while she still believes in Santa. Who am I to ruin this for her?
How in the world she justified spending so much on a green scarf, I have no clue. It was funny at the scene where the manican is talking to her and tells her to use some old jeans, that is what her mother would do. I am so that mother. I can't justify spending so much on stuff that I don't see as a smart and productive buy. Maybe that is the reason why I have been so wishy washy about the item my daughter wants so badly for Christmas. I just think it isn't a wise buy. I think that she could get something cooler for a better buy, but I need to realize that this is what she REALLY wants. Now if it was my last $20 would I buy it... I doubt it. But if this is what she really wants from Santa, I need to let her have that magic.
"When I was a little girl, there were real prices and mom prices. Real prices got you *shiny, sparkly things* that lasted three weeks, and mom prices got you brown things...... that lasted *forever* ." I was thinking about this very quote from the movie, and it reminded me of myself. No, I am not going to buy her any little thing on the whim of her asking for it. I am, however, going to participate in this one piece of magic while she still believes in Santa. Who am I to ruin this for her?
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