This Too Shall Pass.... Let's Hope

Last night I was cleaning my room after cooking dinner.  My daughter asked if her and her brother could have a cookie.  I told them no.  I told them maybe tomorrow night.  They agreed and seemed fine with it.  I went to cleaning my room and going through clothes.  I was feeling so great and accomplished going through my kids' clothes and had a big bag ready to donate.  It felt amazing because I hardly seem to have time to do this and it is desperately needed.  After about half an hour or so, for some reason it became oddly quiet in the house.  I went in the living room to find a little boy with chocloate all over his face with a deer in the head lights look on his face.  He put his hand behind his back very quickly.  My daughter had her back toward me and had a blanket covering her face.  Hmmmmm I wonder what they could be up to!  Needless to say, I got really upset.  I had specifically told them not to get into the cookies.  There was such a mess in the living room from the cookies as well. 

I can't lie and say that I pleasantly told them how disappointed in them I was. 

I yelled at them!!!! 

Yes, I did.  YELLED.  I told them how *pissed* off I was at them doing this kind of stuff.  I went on and on and on.  I told them to wash their faces and get to their rooms.  I was so mad at how they have been misbehaving lately and doing things when I am not looking.  Do I honestly have to watch them like a hawk at all times in order for them to not do things that they shouldn't be?  Yes, I know that kids will be kids and that is part of parenting and kids.  Does it have to happen so frequently though?  With my kids, as of late, they have really been acting up lately.

Both kids were crying and went to their rooms.  (They had been watching Lilo and Stitch that we checked out from the library, and it was only half way through, and Mommy turned it right off.)  I really lost my temper.  My son threw a huge tantrum and got into it with me.  I put him in his room and a little while later I went to check on him. He told me to go away and that he was sad.  I asked why he was sad and he said, "Cuz you yelled at me!!!" 

It seriously saddened me so much.  I have felt so much pressure and weight on me lately, and I have really lost it a couple times lately.  Being a single mom in general isn't always easy.