In My Next 25 Years

I just realized that I will be 25 in about a month!  I am getting so old.  I look around noticing how blessed I have been in my first 25 years of life (well ALMOST 25 years for me ;)  ).  I wont look in the past thinking of mistakes I have made or things I would have changed, because all the choices I have made have made me who I am.  I wouldn't be ME without my past though. 

In 25 years from now, I hope I look back and am happy with where I am.  In 25 years I will be 50.  That sounds sooooooooo OLD!  That Tim McGraw song runs through my head in my next ___ years. 

In my next 25 years, I hope for many changes in my life. 

• I hope to be happily married to Mr. Right.  :)  Let's hope at least. 
• I hope to be a stay at home mommy.  Maybe having grandbabies by then.  Who knows. 
• I hope to be happy and content.
• I hope to be healthy.
• I hope to have many friends
• I hope I will still be close to my family.
• Above all things, I hope my kids are happy and well.  That is what I live for.  THEM.

A New Year, A New Me

I would be lying if I said that 2010 has been a good year for me.  At the beginning of the year, I was let go from my job due to "reduction in force".  I had my sister renting a room from me and worked the figures out with how much I would be getting for unemployment and figured that we could make it.  She was paying part of utilities, groceries and her share of rent.  Deep down I thought it would be kind of fun to get a chance to stay home with my kids.  However, those 6 months were so stressful for me.  I was so beyond sad and depressed.  I would spend hours upon hours sending my resume all over the place, including other states.  A draw back to losing my job was I didn't really know myself.  You see at the time, my work was my identity.  Everyone knew me from that company and the crazy hours I would work.  Heck, I knew me from that job.  I didn't know me without my job.  I didn't really know my kids as much as I thought I did.  It took a lot of adjusting.  I was used to going to sleep early and waking up really early.  I fell out of that habit.  I would stay up sending my resume around, online and just mindlessly watching movies upon movies. 

On June 15th my cousin passed away in a tragic motorcycle accident while he was driving to work.  I was so crushed and sad.  I just couldn't believe that he was gone.  My son looked up to him and was really close to him.  At my cousin's viewing, he told me, "When 'Tavis' wakes up we are going to play!"  I couldn't stop crying.  The tears just kept flowing.  My son thought he was just sleeping and would wake up to play soon.  It was so hard on him.  It was even harder for me to watch my son going through that.  It was a painful time for us.  My son would go to my grandma's house thinking that Travis would come around the corner at any time.  That was his buddy.

In the midst of this time frame, my sister completely stopped paying me rent.  She just stopped.  There was always an excuse.  Her check hadn't been that much.  She had bounced this.  Something.  I let her stay there with the promise of her paying on the next check.  She never did.  I had to tell her it was time for her to move.  I was really counting on that rent money, especially with being unemployed.  In the end, she left without even packing her stuff.  My daugther and I packed it all up and cleaned the room out.  I was so disappointed to see the mess she had left.  I had asked her numerous times to clean up her room and she never had.  There was candy and food just sitting on the carpet, broken dishes and everything else.  It took us a long time to get that room cleaned out.  She came to pick everything up and told me she would be paying me $50 a paycheck until she was all caught up.  I haven't seen a penny.  She owes me $800.

When I got the job i found I was so relieved.  That would be short lived.  Instead of focusing on the blessings we have received, I started thinking so negatively.  How I wished we could afford _______________.  Seeing those around me embarking on such luxuries, and I couldn't because I had taken a paycut from my last job.  I missed my old job.  Then I wished I was home again.  After not working for 6 months, it takes some adjusting to.  When you aren't used to someone's personality and you are working for someone who has to be in complete and total control, it can be hard.  I was only trained in 2 days before the girl left.  2 days!  The manager expected me to have it down and I didn't.  I didn't know contacts, companies, or anything.  It had taken the other girl 2 years to be at the point she was at.  How could he expect that in 2 days from me?  In the time I have been here, it has taken some patience, and learning to deal with his personality.  It has been an adjustment. 

As the end of this year approaches, I am letting go of some things.  First, I am letting go of such negativity.  Life isn't for being miserable.  Yes, trials occur.  They make us who we are.  Embrace the trials and enjoy the ride.  Second, I am forgiving my sister for stiffing me.  Things happen and I know I have to forgive her.  This has taken a great deal of time to let this go, but I am.  I wont hold such resentment and horrible feelings for her.  It isn't worth spending my days miserable and hateful.  Next, I am going to start being a better cleaner at home.  I just put it off so much.  I am going to get rid of more "STUFF" at home.  Less clutter means a happier me.  I am going to cook more and enjoy better/healthier foods.  I am going to stop comparing myself to others around me.  I am going to work on being more satisfied.
Out with the old me, in with the new HAPPIER me.  I am thankful for all that we have been blessed with.  I am so thankful for my adorable children.  They are such blessings in my life. I am thankful for a supportive family.  I don't know what I would do without them.  I adore our ward and how loving and accepting they are.  I am so thankful for good, loving friends. 

I will leave you with a quote:  "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” - Oscar Wilde

I'm Back

My kids were so excited Christmas morning and it really was nice.  We had a great holiday together filled with lots of family and fun.  I definitely enjoyed it.  Sadly I am sitting at work today.  Being at home sounds like much more fun that being here.  **grin 

New Years Eve is coming up.  What fun things do you have planned?  I think I want to have a fun night with the kids.  Pizza, movies, candy, games and just hanging out together.  I think it would be a lot of fun.  Maybe we will invite some others over to make it more magical.  I have had invitations to do things for the holiday and asked to find a sitter, but I don't want to.  I simply want to spend time with my kids and enjoy the time I have with them.  Truth of the matter, I don't even usually stay up the whole time.  Call me crazy but I like my sleep a little too much, hahaha.  I guess we will have to see how I am feeling at the end of the week.

I am currently fighting a cold and it isn't fun.  Let's hope my kids don't get this.  Last night I looked at my house and all the mess.  I walked away.  I didn't even bother with it.  I take that back.  I had the kids clean their rooms and I kindly helped them, but other than that, our house is a complete and total mess.  I will be handling that this week for sure. 

I got such a great present for Christmas.  Something I have been wanting for years now.  I GOT A KITCHENAID MIXER!!!  I am so excited to start using it.  First things first, the house MUST be thoroughly cleaned. 

48 Hour Giveaway: Pillow Pet

You guys know how much my daughter wants a Magical Unicorn Pillow Pet.  She has been begging for one from Santa.  Right now Kostiuk Crew is having a 48 hour giveaway.  Check it out here : http://megankayden.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-pillow-pets-review-and-giveaway-48.html

As I have blogged previously, Pillow Pets are awesome.  They have a great variety of different characters.  I hope my daughter finally wins a Magical Unicorn.  She has been wanting one for such a long time.  Check out the blog and enjoy.  :)

Healthier Eating

In an effort to stretch dollars, and obviously for convenience reasons, we don't eat the healthiest.  We were eating dinner last night at the table.  My daughter was playing with her noodles as she slowly ate.  Truth of the matter, we were eating Ramen noodles.  I am not better than eating cheap foods.  Some people refuse to touch the stuff.  I am perfectly fine with it. 

It got me thinking last night though.  I need to focus on feeding my kids better food.  The problem is:  MONEY.  Is it just me, or is all healthy food expensive?  It just seems that prices just keep increasing on everything.  I need to focus more on feeding my kids healthy and filling foods, while keeping our food budget down.  What a toss up this is.  Yes, it is very important to feed them healthier foods.  But when it is just you providing for the family, it sure is hard spending more on food.  How do you stretch a dollar and feed your family heatlhy meals?  How much do you spend on average per month on groceries?  What do you tend to feed your family?

The Little Things

I am so thankful for all the wonderous blessings I hae been given.  Sometimes it takes you hitting rock bottom and being so beyond down in the dumps to realize just how good you have it.  The past couple months I have been miserable.  It just seems that everything is going wrong.  I try so hard to have a positive outlook on things and hope for the best, but I clearly haven't had that mentality lately.

I could go ranting about how terrible life is, but it isn't.  I am blessed to have two healthy and loving kids, a safe roof over our heads, food to eat, transportation, feedom of speech, freedom of religion, job, clothes on our backs, having been taught frugality at a young age, a high school education, and numerous other things. 

It really is about the little things in life.  At times we might not care to remember that, but it is sooo true.  The other night I was thinking how grateful I was for my bathroom.  Now to someone that might just sound stupid to be thankful for a bathrobe.  When you aren't running the heat in your home, and you get out of the shower and have a nice, thick bathrobe to cover your cold body, that IS something to be thankful for. 

My bathrobe was found at that Catholic Church rummage sale a couple months ago.  They informed us that you could take an entire bag or box of stuff for $5.00  You better believe I wanted to make my money stretch.  I was intently looking for hoodies and such when I found the robe.  It is thick and nice.  XL size, so it is nice and big.  Really, it is perfect.  I definitely brought it home and ran it through the washer (2 cycles if you must know the truth).  Had I not found it there, at such a great price, I wouldn't own a Bathrobe. 

I don't know how much they usually run for, but this isn't made of flimsy material.  This is thick, towel material.  I do enjoy being satisfied with the little things in life.  Remember that someone always has it worse off than you. 

Weekend Yard Sale Finds

I was driving down the street this morning and spotted a yard sale.  Yes, I am a complete sucker when it comes to yard sales, thrift stores and garage sales, as you should probably be able to tell by now.  Typically, I drive by a yard sale and scope it out through the window and see if there is anything worthwhile for me to get my lazy butt out of the car.  If I think the yard sale is worth actually checking out, then I get out.  So I decided it looked worth me getting out of the car to check out.  I am so excited that I did get out. 

The first thing I saw, which made me want to jump and down for complete and udder joy, was this: 

 Pucci Pup

You have to know that my daughter has been eyeing these at the stores for a while now.  When we go to the stores, I let them look at the toy section, knowing that it is only to look, not purchase.  This is the first thing she goes and looks at.  If I hadn't told my kids ahead of time that they could only ask Santa for 2 presents from Santa, I am definitely sure she would have asked for one.  They go for about $20-$22 plus tax at the stores.  It comes complete with a bag to carry the puppy, a pink leash, and a fake bone thingy.  I scored this baby for only $2!!! Needless to say, I was extremely excited with my find.  The best part of all is my kids were at Grandpapa's house, so I was able to purchase it without my daughter knowing it.  I can already imagine her face when she receives this.  Knowing that she has been eagerly eyeing a Pucci Pup for a while now, I am extremely happy that I found this. 

Next I found a Barbie Horse.  

They let me have this for $1. Definitely a great buy if you ask me. My daughter will be happy with this. It doesn't look very played with, just like the Pucci Pup. You see I had a discussion with the guy selling this stuff. He informed me that his daughter is 11 and doesn't believe in Santa anymore. He also said how his kids get bored too easily with toys and items. Knowing that these are hardly even used or loved, made them that more wanted by me. hahaha Not that that typically makes a difference to me, but they really are in awesome condition.

What kind of Mommy would I be without scoring an awesome deal for my Little Man? 

He loves Nerf guns. He's definitely a boy, through and through. This was complete with some of the shooter bullet thingamajiggers. What better price than $1.00??? That is a great price if you ask me. I'm sure he is going to be excited and knowing my luck, I will get shot at when I am least expecting it.

All in a days' work.  $4 total for all 3 of these items.

Mudpuppy

We came home to a suprise today.  I won something for my daughter from New Age Mama for my daughter as I told you guys before.  If you haven't checked her blog out, do it!!!  ;)  She really does have a great blog that I personally follow  http://newagemama.blogspot.com/  

As you can see, my daughter was and still is so excited.  She loves princesses.  What did I think of this item?  I think it is really cute and fun.   It gives a little girl plenty of opportunities to use her imagination.  I like things that are fun and creative.  She is currently changing the outfits and scenes and really enjoying this. 

Here is the final result of one of her favorite scenes. 

Thank you so much, New Age Mama.  My daughter is extremely excited and happy. I really was debating whether to hold this until Christmas or give it ahead of time.  I am glad I let her have it now.  The perfect gift to give her for such a great report card.  She got 4 A's and 1 B.  I was so thrilled.  What a great reward for her  :)

The Weekend Is Almost Here....

So close yet so far away  :)  The weekend is almost here.  I can't tell you how happy I feel knowing this.  My kids are happily going to Grandpapa's house to spend with him.  They really wanted to go last weekend after our family Christmas party, but they didn't have church outfits with them.  I have decided without kids, I will be able to tackle more of the house.  Going through and donating more things.  Happily going through it all and not having to deal with it.  I'll also be able to clean.  I just hope I keep the motivation and do it all.  Most weekends I just don't want to do anything, but I always have so many things planned and never enough time. 

I also think I need some me time.  A chick flick, yummy food, and fun.  Hmmmmm what should I do?  Sounds boring all by yourself.  hahahaha  It might be a little weird having a quiet house without two fighting kids.  "Mommy he touched _____".  "  Ahhhhhhhhhhh  she has my _____________" 

Is it just me, or is it weird that I can't even think what to do by myself?  Sounds weird that I just don't know what to do for me.  I am not used to not having my kids with me.  Last time I didn't have them, I enjoyed a fun night at my friend's house for her birthday.  And I haven't planned anything for this weekend, so I will have to think of something. 

After all that stress and worry about having my cousin and her family stay with us right after Christmas, they called and informed us that they would not be staying with us after all. 

Truth be told, we still have not put the heater on at our house.  When you are at work all day and the kids aren't at home due to being babysat until I get off work, it just seems so wasteful to turn it on.  We dress warmly in the house, and of course cuddle up in the blankets.  When I was young, that is what I remember about Wintertime.  Granted my parents did turn the heater on, but it wasn't really warm in the house.  They would keep it down, so you still needed a sweatshirt or blanket on inside.  I am still alive, aren't I?  We have lots of nice, warm blankets at the house.  At nighttime we bundle up, and we are just fine. 

I informed my cousin prior to them agreeing to stay with us, that we don't turn the heater on at our house.  She was just fine with it and said they would just bring extra blankets and dress warmly as we do.  I have been thinking the past few weeks about all the preparation I needed to do so they could stay with us.  In addition, I factored in additional food costs to feed them for about 4 days (all 3 meals, of course).  That might not sound like much to someone, but when you are used to only feeding 3 people it is a change.  You see, my daughter gets free breakfast and lunch at school, my son eats breakfast and lunch at Grandma's house, so I only make dinner and snacks... other than on the weekends, of course.  I also thought of all the cleaning and rearranging I would need to partake in to prepare for their stay.  Many thoughts and a great deal of stress have been added to me lately.

You have to know the truth, I haven't been in much of a Christmas spirit lately.  In fact I have just been down right sad, bummed, down and not happy.  That in addition to the stress of having 6 more people staying at our house right after the holidays wasn't helping any.  Don't get me wrong please.  I love family and friends.  I love company and enjoying each other.  I love this cousin to death and think that she is awesome.  I just haven't been in the best mood with life. 

As you can imagine, when I received a voicemail from my cousin informing me that they would not be staying with us since we don't turn our heater on, I was a bit relieved.  I am sure that sounds really evil and vain of me.  It has just been weighing down on me a bit about all the preparation that goes into having house guests, especially 4 little ones. 

I am sure my cousin expected me to say that I would turn the heater on for them, but right now money is really tight, as I have mentioned.  Even when I have turned my A/C on during summer, I keep it at a very warm temperature as a result of the Power bill.  As well during the wintertime in past years, the heater is kept at a low enough temperature that I still would need a blanket or sweatshirt.  When you aren't used to living in a house where the temperatures aren't significantly altered due to utilities, I am sure you would probably touch the thermostat and adjust it to your prefered temperature.  I will admit that I was afraid that they would do that if I did agree to turn it on.  This family keeps their house cold in the summer and very warm in the winter.  They aren't used to feeling unpleasant or not as warm/cold as they would like to feel.  I was afraid of it all being changed when I came home.  Also, I was afraid of that LARGE bill after they were already gone. 

It feels like a big weight was lifted from my shoulders after I heard the voicemail.  I messaged her back and  told her that I completely understand them not staying with us.  We will definitely go over and spend time with them, wherever they are staying, and let the kids play during their visit here.  It will be nice to catch up and get together. 

In the future, I have learned that if I am ever asked during the holidays if someone can stay with me, I think I will be saying no.  Well, unless it is my parents or something to that nature.  I just think it is too much stress to add to someone during the holiday season.  I have never been away from my home during the holidays, so I don't know how that would feel, but I surely hope not to ever have to stay at someone elses during Christmastime. 

I asked my hometeachers to come over and give me a blessing last night, and I am so glad that I did.  It was EXACTLY what I needed.  I can't even put into words what a difference it has made. 

I hope you are enjoying your family and friends during this great time of the year.  I feel so blessed beyond words.  Remember the reason for the Season.

Stress

Lately I feel like I have been robbed.  Robbed of the little things.  Is it just me or do you realize how everyone is in such a hurry?  And it isn't just lately.  It is all the time.  I feel like I am running and running, with no success of getting ahead.  I am so stressed out and it isn't as a result of anything big.  It is the daily things that just keep amounting. 

By the time I go back to work on Mondays, it seems like I never had a weekend, since I have to cram so many things into my weekend schedule since that is the only time I am able to do things due to working.  You would think that my house would be nice and clean by Monday.  hahahahahahahahaha  **Okay I can't stop laughing at that thought.  I only wish that was true.

Even though I have sworn that I don't want to be stressed out and have a hectic Holiday season, why am I so stressed out anyways?  This weekend I did take one more load of stuff to donate at the thrift store. 

Get those rooms and closets cleaned out now before Christmas.  You don't want to deal with more stuff in your house after Santa has come.  Wouldn't it be better to tackle some of that clutter NOW???  :)

Who Wants A Pillow Pet?

New Age Mama is giving away a Pillow Pet.  http://newagemama.blogspot.com/2010/12/holiday-gift-guide-pillow-pets-review.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NewAgeMama+%28New+Age+Mama%29  She is giving away the Snuggly Puppy.  Have you seen these in the stores or on commercials?  They are absolutely adorable.  They are soft and cuddly.  My daughter is begging for a Unicorn Pillow Pet for Christmas, while my son LOVES the Puppy.  Every time we go into Walgreens, they run to see them and my son pets the puppy.  I think it would be so fun for him to win this. 

Have you been to New Age Mama's blog yet?  If not, you should!  Check her out:  http://newagemama.blogspot.com/  I personally follow her on Friend Connect.  She has a great blog.  Enter her giveaways while you are at it.